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I could not believe it when a producer from Harpo Studios got in touch last week, asking if I could perform at your “The Life You Want” San Jose tour stop. I’ve always wanted to hear, “Welcome Revollllllvaaaaa,” as I cartwheeled onstage, to tell you my life story—the profundity of all my lingering student loan debt causing you to weep and then declare to America that I am your new BFF. Your producer, assessing my hesitation, further explained that, “People started calling US, asking to perform, so we thought we’d add a stage for local acts.” I punched myself in the arm. Why was I always asking the Forbes top 400 richest people in America if I could work for free? Lena Dunham, of Girls fame, and Amanda Palmer, of omg-she’s-so-badass fame, recently launched contests for opening acts. I suspect it’s because there is simply no reason why well-off people, on extremely lucrative tours free acts.

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As a performer, writer and activist, I’ve spent 12 years taking a million chances, attempting to live in alignment with my spirit, rather than our toxic culture. Unfortunately, her call coming just four days before your San Jose stop, I didn’t have the whole weekend free. To be fair, working in exchange for cultural capital isn’t exactly a new concept.

), your producer also mentioned there was the added bonus of a ticket to the event. Last time I checked, even if it was to round out volunteers, your tour was contacting artists.

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Your producer was totally calling to add me to your list of “trailblazers,” including Deepak Chopra and Elizabeth Gilbert, right?!? I should have known that, in the phone call with your producer, there was a deep spiritual lesson in store for me. Fortunately, my heartbreak was soon short-circuited by the stroke I had when I realized your tour, with its tickets starting at (for the homeless), middling out at 9 (for fast food employees) and rocketing to 9 (For 90s rappers)—featuring trailblazers who never have to dig through every compartment in their car for enough change to cross the Bay Bridge—would be ringing up local performers asking them to do their job for no pay. And yet, your side stage, featuring local acts, is paying in that old tap-dancing, phantom promise of “exposure.” As I was choking on my own tongue (stroke!

I have to admit that I was initially heartbroken that my name would not be bellowed with 800 extra vowel sounds.

Folks reading this might not understand how much rehearsal time, equipment fees, booking time, advertising costs, etc. The pay for a gig is payment for ALL those back end work hours. ”), then the rates for someone’s blood, sweat and tears have to be fair.

Events that are netting a metric butt-ton of money are just being unethical to offer artists nothing—or free tickets—or a child’s birthday party rates.

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