Tips of dating with american men

This candid communication style might not sit well with awkward, bumbling Brits — especially men — who tend to recoil from conversations about their feelings.

So, whereas back home you might find yourselves pootling along, and even up the aisle, having never bothered with the am-I-the-only-person-you’re-dating? Looking out for subtle exclusivity cues, like him introducing you as “my girlfriend” or being invited to meet the parents, is no substitute.

Here, people tend to take a business-like approach to finding a mate.

While early days juggling of potential partners is considered normal in the U.

S., try to limit yourself to one per evening and refrain from discussing your other dates with the person trying to delicately chew burrito opposite you.

Naturally, I’m generalizing, but American women seem more upfront, assertive and opportunistic than their British counterparts.

I’ve watched girls in coffee shops and bars, not only surveying man candy from afar but, like lionesses eyeing a fat antelope with a dodgy knee, zoning in and making their intentions known. American men, so I’m told, are more likely to offer to pay for dates and bat away a woman’s wallet.

The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…

There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.

In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.

But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.

In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.

Tags: , ,